I run in the path of Your commands, for You have set my heart free! Psalm 119:32, NIV1984

Thursday, June 28, 2012

what I'm remembering while she flies . . .

She was only 11 years old when she told me she wanted to pack her bags and fly across the sea. 

And my heart beat hard inside my chest, and in the silence I cried out, "But God . . . !!!"

I crawled in bed that night in early fall, and I scratched out the prayers of my momma-heart in the bright pink moleskine journal by my bed.  I scribbled down the what-ifs and the hows and the but-what-about questions...and hadn't I asked for this? 

Hadn't I asked God to give her a heart after His, a heart for the world, and a heart that beats hard to make Him known? Hadn't I gone before her and modeled this very thing and prayed she'd follow?  Hadn't I placed the books in her hands, the stories of those who had left everything to follow One?

But God, how can we afford it?

I said to the LORD, "You are my Master!  Every good thing I have comes from You."  Psalm 16:2, NLT

But God, she's so young!  Is she ready?  Can she do this?

"I will bless the LORD who guides me; even at night my heart instructs me."  Psalm 16:7, NLT

But God, who will go with her?

"I know the LORD is always with me.  I will not be shaken, for He is right beside me."  Psalm 16:8, NLT

But God, what will she eat?  Only a tiny bit of the wrong thing, and she'll swell like a pink balloon, her airways will close...and will she fly home to me or fly away to You?

"No wonder my heart is glad, and I rejoice.  My body rests in safety."  Psalm 16:9-11, NLT

So we loaded the car this afternoon, and her 3-year-old cousin sang over and over

Do not be afraid
God is always with you
Be strong.

We pulled away from the house, Gram's eyes bright with tears, and we drove her to the airport with my dad.  And together with a thoroughly eclectic team of 10 who love Jesus, my firstborn and my father flew across the sea to serve.

And Lord willing, in 10 days, they'll fly back home to us here...to us waiting and praying like breathing...to us trusting our God because He is good.

O LORD, you have examined my heart
and know everything about me.
You know when I sit down or stand up.
You know my thoughts even when I'm far away.
You see me when I travel
and when I rest at home.
You know everything I do.
You know what I'm going to say
Even before I say it, LORD.
You go before me and follow me.
You place your hand of blessing on my head.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
Too great for me to understand!
I can never escape from Your Spirit!
I can never get away from Your Presence!
If I go up to heaven, you are there;
If I go down to the grave you are there.
If I ride the wings of the morning,
If I dwell by the farthest oceans,
Even there your hand will guide me,
And your strength will support me.
Psalm 139:1-10, NLT

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